Only a Game
by Bobcat Moran
Summary: The Mega Man characters play the games they're featured in. Chapter 5 in the 23rd centuryyyy! : In Which the Resistance Does Not Make Responsible Use of Their Spare Time
1. Forte

_**Disclaimer:**_ _Rockman and all related characters are property of Capcom. I own nothing except a "Mega Man and Bass" cartridge which I have clearly been playing more than is healthy._

_Author's Notes:_ _This is the first in a series of three short stories which have nothing in common except the theme of characters from the Mega Man games playing their own games. I'll be posting the next two bits sometime before Christmas. It's meta and cliche, I know, but I had fun writing them. I hope you'll enjoy reading them. Reviews, especially constructive criticism, are always welcome._

-o-o-o-

"Argh!" The yell echoed throughout Skull Castle. The word "READY" blinked on the TV screen and then a tiny figure in gray and orange armor beamed down in front of the onscreen cityscape. Forte picked up a game controller, and the little gray figure decimated a mettool in a stream of purple shots.

"Stupid game. They finally make one where you can play me instead of the blue pipsqueak, and they can't even get that right," Forte groused. The gray on-screen figure winced as it was hit by a shot from a Sniper Joe. "I mean, I don't make that dumb face when I get hit." Another flurry of purple shots took out the Joe.

Leaping from ledge to ledge, the little on-screen figure made its way across a pit of lava, pausing to take out enemies along the way. At the last ledge, the figure soared across the gap in a double jump, only to be struck down by a fiery ball that came hurtling out of the lava pit. The little gray figure exploded in a burst of orange, and the words "GAME OVER" flashed on the TV. Forte swore.

"Tsk, tsk. Such language," a deep voice said on the couch beside him.

"Shut up. Like you'd do any better, Shadow Man."

"I think I would." Shadow Man held out a hand for the controller. "That was your last life, wasn't it? So it's my turn."

"Fine." Forte shoved the controller at him, then crossed his arms and slouched down in the couch, glaring at the TV. "Hey, what are you — the hell you playing as that blue loser for?"

"Better upgrades," Shadow Man said. "His dog's more useful than yours, too."

"You leave Gospel outta this," Forte warned.

"It's only a game."

"Hmph."


	2. Axl

_**Disclaimer: **__Mega Man X and all related characters are property of Capcom. All I own is a copy of Mega Man X7. Thanks to Tevoro for inadvertently providing a turn of phrase which I couldn't resist including here._

_**Author's Notes:**_ _This is my first try at actually writing Axl. Hopefully he turned out all right. As always, constructive criticism and other reviews are more than welcome!_

-o-o-o-

"…and then, that crazy rookie, he went and asked me out on a date."

"What did you say to him?" Axl asked, eagerly listening to Zero's story.

"I told him I didn't swing that way. Poor kid, he looked just stunned. Turned out his friends had played a prank on him, daring him to ask out the 'pretty lady reploid.'"

Axl snickered.

"Don't know how the heck the kid managed to join up without recognizing who I was, but — oh, hey, X, over here!" Zero waved over to his friend, who had just entered the crowded common room.

X looked around, searching, until he saw where Zero and Axl were sitting. "Axl, you're just the reploid I was looking for," X said as he approached them. "This arrived for you in today's mail." He tossed down onto the table a small package that was wrapped in brown paper and a generous amount of packing tape.

"Omigosh, omigosh, it's here!" Axl's voice rose to an excited squeak as he unwrapped the package.

"What's that?"

"It's the new Mega Man X game!" Axl exclaimed, trying pull bits of tape off his fingers. "It's got these awesome new 3-D holo effects, and a new player switching system."

"3-D holo? Could I try that out when you're done with it?" Zero asked, eagerly eyeing the disc that Axl was trying to free from its packaging.

"Sure. But that's not the best part." Axl paused, and took a deep breath before bursting out, "I'm a playable character!"

"Oh, no," X said, while Zero simultaneously said, "Wow! Good for you."

"It's so awesome! I'm in a _video game_!" Axl gushed.

"You two crazies have fun with that," X said. "I've still got to track down Mela and figure out who this 'Layer' is." He frowned at the addresses on the packages he was still carrying. "I'm not sure how their things would up with the 17th's mail."

"Layer's that new Operator they hired last week," Zero said. "I think Alia said she'd be training her in today on the new elemental scanner."

"Okay, thanks."

"What's with X?" Axl asked after he had left. "He didn't sound too excited about the new game. I mean, it has his name on it."

"X hates those games," Zero told him. "He thinks it's creepy to let other people control a virtual version of himself."

"But didn't they have to get some sort of licensing agreement with him? I mean, I had to sign this contract with Gabcom that said I wouldn't sue them or throw badgers in their beds or anything for 'using my likeness' as they put it."

"Yeah. X says it's something he did when he was young and stupid. Come on, let's see if we can grab one of the big-display holo rooms and try this out."

"All right!"


	3. Zero and X

_**Disclaimer and spoilers**__: X, Zero and all related characters are property of Capcom. I only own a copy of Megaman X3 which I have clearly been playing far too much. Speaking of X3, this fic totally gives away the ending with Zero still available a playable character. Some dialogue has been taken directly from the SNES version of X3._

-o-o-o-

_Knock knock knock._

"Come in, it's unlocked," Zero said in response to the knock on the door to his quarters.

"Zero, haven't you ever heard of security features?" X asked as he slid the door open. "You didn't even ask who it was. What if it was a Maverick at your door?"

"Mavericks don't knock," Zero said, not glancing up from his computer screen. "Besides, you've got that particular pattern you use when you rap on the door."

X shook his head in mild exasperation at his friend. Then he noticed how Zero was transfixed by his computer. "You're not _still_ playing that game, are you?" he asked.

"Maybe." Zero, eyes still glued to the screen, leaned slightly to the right, and X could faintly hear the tap of controller buttons.

"Did you even go to sleep last night at all?"

"I'm fine," Zero said.

"You're going to run yourself down, honestly," X said. Zero ignored him.

"If this has anything to do with those dreams you've been having, you know Sieg over in the med wing said that he'd be willing to —"

"I'm fine," Zero repeated, punching at the controller buttons a bit harder than was necessary. "Hah, yes! Take that!" he suddenly crowed, punching his fists into the air in victory. "Hey, X, you wanna see the end of the game?"

X shrugged. "Sure, why not."

"Here, I'll unplug my audio feed so you can hear it, too." Zero popped a small antenna off the back of his computer, and tinny music filled the room.

"Ugh, whoever wrote this music must be tone deaf," X said, listening to the discordant, repetitive tune. He walked around so he could see the monitor. "Oh no, this isn't one of _those_ games, is it?"

"Yup. Got it on loan from Colonel. He thought I'd get a kick out of being able to play myself in a video game. Took me forever to finish the dang thing with me intact, though. You'd think that the game creators were under the impression that my power generator goes south if you jostle me the wrong way. And I can't even fight the bosses. What a rip-off!"

"You couldn't fight the bosses?" X asked.

"I mean, I couldn't fight the bosses while playing as me. I had to switch over to playing as you. Uh-oh, looks like you're in trouble," Zero said, turning his attention back to the game screen.

The little on-screen X was cornered by a giant Sigma head. "Ha ha ha," said the head. "Give it up X. I'll possess your body and rule the whole world!!"

The real X rolled his eyes. "Oh, for the love of—"

"Oooh, hey, look, I've come to save you!" Zero interrupted. Sure enough, a little on-screen Zero jumped down through a hole in the ceiling, slashing at the Sigma head with his saber.

"Okay, now, why is everything stopping while you explain about the Anti-Sigma Virus program on your saber?" X asked. "I don't remember you telling me about that until afterward."

"It's a _game_, X. Not real life. I mean, where else would they explain it?"

"Afterward, when the place isn't blowing up around you?" X said, noting the onscreen explosions that were providing a backdrop to the dialogue.

"But this is more dramatic! I mean, explosions are exciting, right? Especially — wow, look at that! Sigma blew up real good there," Zero said, nodding in appreciation of the game's special effects.

X shook his head. "Honestly, the way you go on about this, you'd think that you hadn't actually been there for the real thing."

"You know, X, I'd think that you, out of all reploids, would have a greater appreciation for video games. Nobody actually gets hurt; they're all just pictures on the screen."

"But don't you find it at least a little creepy that with these games, someone can pretend that they're controlling you?" X asked.

"Creepy? Nah. I mean, it's pretty obvious that's not actually me. I don't make all those weird noises whenever I jump or use my saber."

"I don't know," X said. "You're pretty noisy for a shinobi."

"Hey, keep it up and I'll be forced to bring the foreign dub of the game into it."

"Foreign dub?"

"Yeah, that's the other one Colonel lent me." Zero reached over and grabbed another disk. "They redid the voices for release in, like, Outer Mongolia or something. Everyone sounds like they have a glitchy translator chip and you sound like a girl."

"I what?!"

"You sound like a little girl. A little girl who can't act. It's hilarious. Sigma's a hoot, too."

"Oh, for the love of…can I take that with me? I've been trying to stop them from making these games for years, and maybe I can use this as ammunition."

"You can _borrow_ it. But just until next Tuesday. I have to get them back to Colonel."

"Fine, fine." X looked back at the computer screen, where the game was winding up with the aid of dramatic narration. "Why are we standing on a cliff?"

"Because it's more dramatic. Look at the background, isn't it pretty?"

"I prefer real sunsets." X then started to read the epilogue text out loud as it scrolled by. "_'As X stares at the burning remnants of Doppler's lab, his body trembles from an unknown sorrow.' _Who do they get to write this? This is horrible. And what was that about me having to destroy you? Where are they getting this?"

Zero was staring at the screen with a confused look on his face. "I have no idea. X, you don't have any secret homocidal thoughts towards me, do you?"

"What? No, of course not. Good grief, between the horrible music, the ridiculous sound effects, and the script that was apparently written by a bunch of monkeys, I can't see why you enjoy these games."

"They're fun to play," Zero said.

"Whatever. Listen, I came here to pass on the message that your ride armor is finally fixed, and Douglas would like you to stop by tomorrow morning to give it a test run."

"Took 'em long enough. Did he say what the problem was?"

"He said something about 'Irresponsible commanders who try to exceed the flight limitations.'"

"It's not my fault they don't make those Eagles sturdy enough for combat use — but don't tell Douglas I said that. Just tell him I'll try to stop by around 0730."

"Will do. And try and get some rest, will you? The last thing we need is for you to keel over in the middle of the hallway because your energy reserves are drained."

"Aye aye, sir." Zero waved his hand in a mock salute as X closed the door behind him.


	4. Blues EXE

_Disclaimer: Obviously, I am not Capcom and these are not my toys. However, I promise to put them back where I found them when I'm done._

_Thanks as always to my sister for the beta. Any remaining mistakes you may see are all mine._

* * *

"Enzan-sama?"

Enzan glanced over at his PET, surprised. He was working on the case writeup for the latest Official action he'd been part of, and it was rare that he'd get such an interruption from his Navi. "Yes, Blues?"

"Have you seen the demo for Gabcom's new game?"

"Which one?"

"The 'Battle Network' game."

"Oh, that." Enzan privately thought the game was a poorly-thought out piece of junk, but wasn't about to say that out loud after he'd given his approval for Gabcom to use his likeness in it.

"I don't understand it."

"It's a video game, Blues. There's not much there to understand. You go around, pretending to be a big-shot netbattler, defeating the WWW."

"But why does that netbattler have to be Hikari?"

Enzan shrugged. "He's pretty famous. It's no weirder than that game they came out with a couple months ago where you play as that idol singer, Aka-chan or whatever her name is."

"But Hikari is so…that is, he's not very…"

"He's not very what?" Enzan asked, his navi now having his full attention.

"He lacks discipline. His methods are unfocused, and I feel that he relies too heavily on luck rather than skill."

"So you're saying he's unprofessional?"

"I wouldn't put it that bluntly. Hikari is, after all, an amateur. A lack of professionalism is to be expected," Blues said crisply.

Enzan smirked. Yes, Hikari certainly was an amateur in every way. Also loud, obnoxious, and desperately uninformed on the current netcrime situation. Yet for all that he was surprisingly effective.

"Surprisingly effective or not, I find him to be a less than ideal role model for aspiring netbattlers," Blues said.

Oops. Had Enzan said that last bit out loud? He had, hadn't he. "Who would you consider an ideal role model then?" Enzan asked, absently scrolling back through his report.

"Someone along the lines of Meijin-san, perhaps, or another actual Official team."

"That girl with the big forehead from Gabcom told me they wanted someone younger, 'someone the players could identify with,'" Enzan said. "They're aiming for a target market around eleven years old."

"Eleven years old. So…you?" Blues asked.

"Big forehead girl mentioned it, but unlike some people, we have a job to do, and the publicity from being in such a prominent game would just get in the way."

"Indeed. I dislike dealing with the press any more than absolutely necessary."

"Exactly. Let Hikari deal with all that," Enzan said. He frowned at what he'd written. "Blues, look over this report for me, tell me if I've missed out on anything."

"Gladly, Enzan-sama."


	5. 22XX Zero

_**Author's Note**: Thanks as always to my little sis, Mega Man Zero player extraordinaire, for the beta._

* * *

Zero stepped off the trans server and looked around. Odd. Usually the Resistance Base was bustling with Reploids, but now it was quiet. Too quiet. He activated his saber and walked out into the hall, sensors on high alert. Still no sign of anyone. If the base had been attacked in his abscence, if there was no one left … _Ciel, Cerveau_, all those he had just met since waking up, who had taken him in and guided him in this strange new world. He could almost hear their laughing voices.

Wait.

He actually _could_ hear someone's laughing voice. Several someones, in fact. It sounded like it was coming from the direction of the base's desert entrance. He rounded the corner past the lift, and there were what had to be at least half the Reploids on base, all gathered around something. Although Zero couldn't see her, buried as she was within the group of taller Reploids, Alouette's piping voice rose up above the general murmur. "It's my turn now! Perroquiet, you've had it long enough."

Cerveau glanced down the hall in Zero's direction, then did a quick double-take as he saw the other Reploid. A guilty look flickered across his face before he masked it with a smile. "Zero," he said loudly. "Welcome back! We didn't expect you to return so quickly."

Almost as one, the rest of the group looked up in Zero's direction. There was a pause, then a chorus of, "Oh, hello, Mister Zero," "Good to see you back in one piece," "Nice to see you again," and a quavery, "Eh, who's that?"

"It's Mister Zero, Andrew. He's back."

"Who?"

"Um, hello," Zero responded, sheathing his saber. "What's going on?" Then, looking around and seeing every single one of the base guards among the crowd, he added, "And who's watching the other entrances?"

"Oops, gotta go," said the north gate guard, running off past Zero.

Zero glared at the other guards. "We're good," said the redhead who usually watched the rail line. "_Most_ of us were smart enough to get someone to cover us."

"Hm," Zero responded. He elbowed his way in through the crowd, most of whom still hadn't moved. At the center was Perroquiet, who was furiously mashing the control panel of a small tablet computer. Zero tried to peek over Perroquiet's shoulder to see what he was doing. "What do you have there?" Zero asked.

"Gyah!" Perroquiet exclaimed, jerking up from his hunched-over position. A little "pew-pew-pew" noise, followed by downbeat music emitted from the tablet's speakers. "Nuts, that was my last life." Then, suddenly realizing who he was taking to, he exclaimed, "Oh, Mister Zero, sir, hi." He whipped the tablet around behind his back.

What could be so secret? "Can I see that?" Zero asked.

"Um, no, I mean, yes, I mean, maybe, but no, because you have to ask Cerveau first because he programmed it," Perroquiet babbled, backing away as he talked.

"Ah." Zero said, turning to ask Cerveau. However, the engineer was nowhere to be seen.

"Zero, I was going to go next, but you can have my turn," Alouette volunteered, deftly taking the tablet from Perroquiet's hands and handing it to Zero.

"Alouette, no," Perroquiet said, as Zero turned the tablet so it was right way around.

Zero frowned, hitting buttons and watching the little red and yellow figure on screen jump up and down. "Hm. That supposed to be me?"

"N—"

"Yes," Alouette said, ignoring the glare Perroquiet darted at her.

"Hm," Zero repeated. Two minutes later, he handed the tablet back to Alouette. "Good game. Beat the first level for you."

"Yay! Thank you!" she said.

"What? Let me see that," Perroquiet said. "Aw, how'd he do that? I couldn't even get past the mini-boss! Hey, Mister Zero, how'd you —" but Zero was off, long blond ponytail bouncing behind him as he headed back towards the lift.


End file.
